I want to go back

PSA this is going to be a whiney post. Not because everything in my life is going dastardly wrong but because I’m feeling whiney right now and that’s okay.

I want to go back

I really do

Before I had any problems

or any stress

When my biggest worry was what I was going to wear for my 13th birthday party

When I had no income. When I had no bills.

When the only job I had was my math home work and dance class 7 days a week

When any money I had could be used for whatever I wanted

Or not

When it didn’t matter

When I didn’t have to worry about making friends because anyone could be a friend and we would just play and play and play

Play

Before I forgot how to play

Before I had to practice self love because I hadn’t yet lost it

Before I decided I had to be someone

Before I was in a rush.

When my mom made me breakfast every morning and I didn’t know how wonderful it is to have someone make you breakfast every morning

When we would jam in the car

or talk

Whatever we needed

When I had multiple hand fulls of people I could call at any moment who would drop everything for me

When I could lose it and someone else would pick up the pieces

When I didn’t have to have it together

Before we were so busy

Before we all grew up

I wish we didn’t grow up.